Ilandere’s Journal

So all those stories you hear about telepathic contact with another person being awesome? Yeah, no. I’ve become connected to a Hive mind, and holy frack, it’s like sitting in a classroom of atonal, sociopathic engineering students who all want to talk to you at the same time. Maybe if it were ONE person it could be better, but realistically, I think I’ll stick with what’s in my own brain from now on. If I don’t get disconnected soon, I’m going to start referring to myself in the plural soon. I wonder if the Hive could all get drunk if one of them did (or if I did)? I think I may need to experiment with that. Extensively. Soon.

Excuse me, but I need to go bug bomb my house now. And set traps for every kind of insect known to elfkind.

Today was not a good day.

I got separated from Darius in battle today, and was eaten by a slime and died - quite horribly, in case you were interested - in its digestive juices, and then was resurrected after the party killed it. Then I started hearing voices, so the revenant vampire, Dominic, in our party bit me and drank some of my blood to see what was happening. Turns out that the slime invaded my brain and was talking to me and growing in my skull. To get rid of that, the captain had to kill me, and Dominic raised me as a zombie - this drove out the slimes, and the party immediately killed them. The party then killed the zombie me, and finally resurrected me as myself again.

I hate slimes, I hate being digested, and I hate getting bitten by revenant vampires, I hate being a zombie (or a green skeleton, but that’s another matter entirely), and I hate having to get resurrected.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go throw out all of my shampoos and body washes and replace them all with BAR soaps. Also throwing out all the aloe vera, jams and jellies, and olive oil in the house. Dammit, I hate slimes!